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www.eeefa-ellie.blogspot.com
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EEEFA ELLIE♥
Customer Service Agent
18, March 11
Now, blisfully having a great family & friends surrounded around me
Happily hitched
♥ I love Paris ALOT " She’s a lil girl, living in her perfect world
Until the bad guy come, and tore everything apart.."
She believes that things always happen for a reason & knows that
it's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen,
but it's even harder to give up when it's everything you ever wanted.
Thank you fo th comment which you've written @ my tag. No, I wasnt avoiding just that, I feel like avoiding humans out there. You never knew th reason bcox I dont feel like telling humans out there th reason. Fo th meantime, let me be th way I am doing this. Its fo my sake, not th rest.
I know you're worried but, does others know that I am suffering alot pressure? It gives me huge impact of it in life. I know you wouldnt understand th situation bcox you never felt it. I suffered enough.
Thank you fo th concern & I appreciate it thou. Now, you're working & congrats fo th job you really want & into it. All th best in working life & not to worry much, I miss you.
Forget about him. Forget about everyth about him. Sorry babe fo doing this but, y'know, if you put 100% into working life you dont dare to think about him. I was referring nancak. Th greatest guy you always claims. Move on babe, as there is always many cool guys out there. Today isnt th best day but who knows tomorrow is th best gift ever.
I am sorry fo making you worried all these while just that, I need to be myself again. I wish, this wasnt what I want in life.
Take care & best wishes.
Thursday, January 28, 2010 @ 6:23 AM
A month now, I've not yet recovered. A week now, I've not touch my cellphone. A week now, I've been crying, whining, bear th pain in myself, suffer those crush. How am I suppose to work now?
People has been contacting my cellphone but I avoid those humans. I am not cruel just that, I hate life now. A month now I have not been smiling & laughing out loud. No no, dont blame me fo hating life now. How cruel can th outside people done to me? Whats more earning from me?
I am very much disappointed w one of my closest friend. Promised she'll attend to me but hack, you just one of th outside people. I've been crying & whining yet, you dont even bother asking how am I doing & so forth instead you asked about others. Oh great, who is th one attending to you when you're not yourself? Those shattered life which you've been whining all about is me who were there. I am muchly disappointed w you, afterall.
Great, two days ago went over to grandma's house to pay a lil visit. Was nice & grandma's friend was there. Since she's a great help, I asked her a little medicine & asked whats w me. Without hesitation, she throw out everyth out like I used to, and great problem I thought of asking her but instead, I asked myself out, why?
Every night I felt very uneasy but I knew its a mind-playset-game. I pretend nothing happen & thought of heading to sleep back. Unfortunately, it went down to my little fingers & went oh my. I was horrified by th way I reacted & gave a hook about it. I say some prayers but, it cant. How can this be stopped?
This may be a joke but its a true based story I am having now. Try looking at me now, & I will give a pale face lookout. I miss life, eventually.
Friday, January 22, 2010 @ 10:08 AM
Putting a stop in everyth wasnt that easy but putting a stop in every corner was yet so bitter. Those memories I had in mind were blissful but yet again so bitter & sweet. I wonder how but somehow its a disaster.
Calling me names & ol is a great & fascinating way to treat, yet again we have pride. Th pride I've been holding since small till young adult. Coming to 18 years I held th pride. Thank You fo making me this way.
I miss you yet I cant & dont dare to tell th truth. I know Im weak but that doesnt mean you can destroy life ol th time. Again, thank you fo making me this way.
I lost two people in life & I dare not lose another one. But still th mistreating in me is always there, I shall put a stop to it. Moving on w life wasnt east yet again I have to be brave enough to open up my dreams alive. Going to paris, having a great family on my own accord, was so great. Now, I came to realise, a monster who used to be in my life were a great guy who always there fo me but due to my stubborn, hatreds of others, calling other people names, he is th one who pampers me. Now he is gone from life, I must realise how important he is now when he is away.
I appreciate your thoughtfulness & understanding because still, you're th best in me. May happiness in you were there once again. Love you(:
Im going far far far far away from here.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 @ 11:40 AM
Now its 3.40am & I've not yet asleep. Was wondering & pondering how life could be now. I suffered 2 weeks+ & how I wish I can run all my problems, suffocating myself & retrain from meeting others. Life has been an hassle way. I am finding myself a way out from here but yet, I cried out loud. I even avoid telling my problems from friends/family as I know, I will always gives them a problem although once I am a problematic child who used to.
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Back to th story, these days goes by I've been feeling rather weird & I know somehow I am not I repeat I am not being myself. I get so uptight easily & I feel like crying. I do not know what's going on but I know fo sure, theres someth going on which I cant be describe. Y'know, if I sense someth nor predict it very well, surely is not right. I cant let my feelings goes by but, I know it certainly not right. Declare everyth to me now, please.
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I hate being this way but no, Im not an emo shit fcuk girl. I suffered more than a week just getting rid of my problems & how am I suppose to face others if Im in th world of depression?! Im being selfish & treating others unfairly. Sighs.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010 @ 4:31 AM
Walooo.......
Currently EFA iz unable to update e blog due to her sickness... So her guy which iz me r gonna update it 4 her..
Firstly let me intro abit of myself.. The person whom EFA haf been mentionin fifth, lurve ones, Luf & etc iz actuali me... We haf been together 4 1yr 2mths plus n still goin on in our relationship... So yup... Mess wif ma gerl n prepare to face e worse consequences.. N i mean it...
So okie lets get it started... Diyana or aka Teddy bear i haf heard farny rumours about u la sis n i tell u its damn farny... Hw could u shave ur own best fwen eyebrow off??... Hahaha...
Next iz Feekah or aka Iban... Hw could u bought a red hair dye n end up grey hair or in malay (rambut beruban)... 4 goodness sake dats e rong brand or uve been punk'ed sis... N wats wif inside e classrm ppl pluckin ur grey hair??? Hahaha... U ppl seriously got nothin better to do...
The next victim iz Syahadah or aka Sya dwarf, Zya, BCC... although she's small n chubby, I tell u tiz gerl iz full of nonsense.... lil sis fav of mine... my gerl EFA iz not minah n wats wif u bein scared of ma gerl??? n puhlease stop sulking... doesnt mean ur sista smoke u need to get so uptight n sulk 4 a week??? But no matter wat u r still ma fav lil sis okie...
Fadhilah or aka Dilah gonzela or should i kol her Dilah becok or even better makcik... Dunt u tink i would mizz ur name out... Tiz gerl iz worse den nonsense... Her mouth juz cant stop talkin... N ya dun act as if in skool u r e great one... bullyin sec 1 student but wen the discipline master iz around??? Hahaha dun wan to elaborate mre... N dunt worie ur eyebrow wil grow soon so no need to 'paiseh'...
Ol e name mention above iz juz a joke aite... Dun get so uptight over it...
Be4 im off n look afta ma gerl juz a reminder EFA misses ol her fwens... do keep in contact wif ma gerl... afta ol she's everyone fav lil gerl...